4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
