Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
