Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Randomize
