My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
