Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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