I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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