I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
