We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
