Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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