at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
he thought i was a dude.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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