I'm gonna have a badass scar
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Randomize
