your room smells of hookers.
And success
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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