He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
