Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
