I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
