I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
