So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
