Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Randomize
