Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
