I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
