hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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