speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
