At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
