The maid of honor just puked.
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
