sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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