Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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