Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Randomize
