I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
