Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
