Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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