You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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