it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
