If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
