It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
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