toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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