I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
