i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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