i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
