Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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