im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
My boob is missing a layer of skin
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
