Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Randomize
