Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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