so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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