My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
