sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Randomize
