I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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