Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Randomize
