i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
