I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
