Its about making memories worth repressing
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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