when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
