So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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